


Maybe your head (is not where your heart is)

by Poetgirl925



Series: The Head and the Heart [4]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - No Hydra Takeover, Earth-616 Characters, F/M, Friendship, Marvel 616/MCU Crossover, Original Character(s), Romantic Angst, Romantic Friendship, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-07 05:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4250718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poetgirl925/pseuds/Poetgirl925
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU Skyeward. Part 4 of The Head and the Heart series. A chance encounter and a conversation send Skye and Alanna into a tailspin, and Alanna demands answers from Quartermain. Meanwhile, Skye finds out that Grant is caught in a bad situation on an operation and secretly breaks protocol to get him out. When Grant returns from his mission, they both realize they’re on a slippery slope with regard to their feelings. While this prompts Skye to make some changes in her personal life, Grant resorts to compartmentalizing feelings he’s not ready to deal with yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Skye stifled a yawn as she sat on a bench beside the pond and threw food to the ducks. It was only seven-thirty, but she’d been up for hours. After finishing her session with May, she showered in the gym and changed for work. Then she’d decided to bring her cafeteria breakfast sandwich and coffee out to the park.

She’d been training with May for a couple of weeks. She’d gotten into the habit of having coffee with Grant in the mornings, but he and several of the specialists were away on a classified assignment. Skye felt a pang as she finished her sandwich and sipped her coffee. Grant had been gone for five days now, and she missed him.

The summer ducklings were all pretty big, and she knew they’d soon be flying south for the winter. It was early October; the leaves were starting to show the first hints of fall, and the hazy late summer days had begrudgingly given way to cooler weather. She’d pulled out a lightweight jacket for the first time earlier in the week, and this morning she was also wearing a light scarf.

One of the ducks waddled over and nudged her foot with its bill, making her smile. She held out her hand and let it eat a few seeds from her palm. It tickled, and she laughed.

“Hi.”

Startled, she glanced up to see Alanna Johnson a few feet away. Dressed down in jeans, a blue sweater and a chocolate brown leather jacket, with minimal makeup and her blonde hair pulled back into a low ponytail, she looked years younger than she actually was.

“Skye, right?” Alanna gestured to the bench. “Do you mind if I sit? I’m waiting for my daughters, Henna and Jenny. They’re getting coffee. Would you like one? I could always call and ask them to bring one more.”

Skye shook her head slowly, holding up her travel mug. “Mine’s still mostly full. But you can sit, if you want.”

She ignored the flutter of nerves in her stomach as Alanna sat down. It felt weird to have her biological aunt sitting next to her; to Skye it was significant even though she knew Alanna was just being friendly.

“The weather is really nice this week,” Alanna commented with a smile. “As much as I miss Austin and my husband, I’ll be a little sad to leave in a few days.”

“It’ll be cold soon. I’m sure you won’t miss the winters here,” Skye replied, throwing a few more seeds to the ducks. “I’m still getting used to them.”

“Where are you from?” Alanna asked. She took some seeds from the bag Skye offered her and tossed them to the new ducks that had just arrived.

“All over,” Skye answered slowly. She bit her lip and then added, “But I grew up in Austin.”

“Ah, a fellow Texan,” Alanna said, laughing. “Small world. Do you still have family there?”

“I was left at St. Agnes when I was a baby.” It wasn’t a lie. Skye was proud of herself for keeping the bitterness out of her voice. “I grew up there. They told me my mother died.”

“Oh, Skye.” Alanna turned on the bench to look at her apologetically. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

She shrugged. “It’s fine. I’m sure it could have been worse.”

While definitely true, she knew from numerous annoying therapy sessions that the words were a coping mechanism. Words like ‘It’s fine’ and ‘It could have been worse’ served to downplay shitty events in her own mind. Her childhood had been full of the kind of pop psychology that court appointed therapists and case workers liked to toss at kids in the system. They were trying to help, but it had never actually made her feel any better. Coping though – that had a hundred percent success rate.

“That’s our family church,” Alanna finally said. “I’ve done quite a bit of volunteer work there, including at the orphanage. How long were you there?”

“I left when I was fifteen. I had a few foster homes but none that worked out.”

Skye didn’t know why she was telling Alanna all of this. For one thing, it was dangerous to start handing out the details of her past life to a woman who might very well be able to connect the dots back to her own brother. For another, oversharing had never been her thing, and she doubted Alanna wanted all the gory details anyway.

However, when Skye looked over at the older woman, she was watching her. She clearly had questions that she was trying to hold back. She looked away and they sat in silence for a minute, watching the ducks.

“Fifteen is young,” Alanna finally said quietly. “Too young to be on your own. I sometimes work with the police department on child pornography and prostitution cases. The streets aren’t a safe place.”

“I was lucky,” Skye told her. “And I was good at reading people. I couch surfed for a while, and I started spending time with this guy named Miles – he was a hacktivist with a group called the Rising Tide. I had some natural skill there because I picked it up pretty fast.”

“I’m being nosy, but how did you end up with SHIELD?”

“AC – sorry, Coulson – caught me hacking into SHIELD when I was eighteen,” Skye said ruefully. “I wasn’t quite as good seven years ago as I am now. Instead of taking me to a cell, he took me to a diner and bought me lunch. He helped me get my GED and go to college. I never saw myself with an organization like SHIELD, but I like the sense of family I’ve found there.”

“You know, I used to work there, too,” Alanna said. “I was also a computer analyst. Of course, that was a long time ago, but I do have a sense of what the job entails.”

Skye heard laughter behind her. Turning, she saw Henna and Jenny walking towards them.

Alanna looked over her shoulder and waved at her daughters. “I left when my husband and I started talking about having a family. We’re both from Texas, so we thought it would be a good time to go home.”

With the twins’ arrival, hugs and greetings were exchanged. Skye sensed the private bubble they’d been in slipping away, and she felt a little awkward. She stood up. “I should probably get going.”

It was warming up, so she unwound the scarf she was wearing and put it in her bag.

“That’s a pretty locket,” Henna said, leaning in for a closer look. “It looks antique.”

Skye’s hand rose to touch the gold locket. “Thanks.” It had been the only personal item left with her at the orphanage, though she didn’t often wear it. She supposed being around Quartermain again had her thinking more about the past. “I think it might have belonged to my mother.”

Henna looked a little confused by her answer since she hadn’t heard the story Skye told Alanna, but she tactfully skirted it. “Well, it’s beautiful.”

Skye glanced over at Alanna to see that she had gone pale, and she was staring at the locket around Skye’s neck. “What?”

“Did…” Alanna paused as if she were trying to organize her thoughts. “You said you think it might have belonged to your mother?”

Skye’s hand crept up again to close around the locket in a defensive gesture. “It was the only thing left with me at St. Agnes. I assumed it was hers.”

“And your father? Did you ever find him?” Alanna asked somewhat abruptly, ignoring the way her daughters were staring at her.

Her palms were starting to sweat; Skye released the locket and picked up her bag. “I should go.”

Alanna reached out, and Skye stilled as the older woman grasped her hand to stop her from leaving. They stared at one another, wary brown eyes locked with searching blue ones. Skye felt sick as she realized that somehow, Alanna knew.

“I’m sorry,” Alanna said, her voice a little shaky. “It’s just that my grandmother had a locket just like yours. She gave it to my brother. It’s meant to be passed on to his daughter.”

Skye could feel the blood draining from her face and a hot, prickly feeling in her veins as her heart started pounding. She understood what Alanna was saying, but it didn’t compute. Because why would the man who had abandoned her leave her with a family heirloom? It had never – not even once – occurred to her that the locket was from Quartermain. She had half convinced herself that it didn’t mean anything at all since she had wondered where a Chinese village woman might have gotten that type of locket.

“It was engraved,” Alanna continued in a soft voice, almost as if she were speaking to herself. She reached for the locket and turned it over.

Skye knew what was engraved there. She had read it a thousand times as she ran her fingers over the words.

_Love endures all things._

Alanna was the one running her finger over the words now, and she looked both confused and upset as their eyes met once again. “Skye…”

“I have to go.” Skye pulled back and turned, walking as quickly as possible back to the Triskelion.

***

Alanna watched Skye walk away, her own feet seemingly rooted to the ground. She couldn’t stop her brain from recycling everything Skye had told her as she tried desperately to put the pieces together in a way that didn’t make her brother a liar – a man who would leave his daughter in an orphanage, mere miles away from her family.

“Geez, Mom. Personal much?” Jenny spoke up behind her. “Some people have boundaries you know. Didn’t you see the look on her face?”

“Jenny.” Henna spoke up, a warning in her voice.

Alanna realized then that she had made a mistake, and she turned to look at Henna. The eldest by six minutes, Henna had always been the more observant and perceptive of the two girls, and none of her mother’s interactions with Skye had gone over her head.

“I don’t understand,” Henna said quietly. “She mentioned St. Agnes, and you asked her if she ever found her father. But Uncle Clay wouldn’t, right? There’s a mistake.”

Alanna didn’t answer her, but she was beginning to fear the truth staring her in the face. She’d first thought that her brother had gotten involved with Skye romantically, but he’d been so disgusted by her question that she dismissed it. Now she thought she understood why.

Skye was clearly of Asian and Caucasian descent. She said she was eighteen when she met Coulson, and that was seven years ago. That put her around twenty-five years old. And twenty-five years ago, her brother was working in China.

The pieces fell into place faster and faster – how withdrawn Clay had been when he came home from China. How he’d spent some extra time at the church, helping with general repairs during his rare time off. How he never talked about his time in Asia. The last hadn’t concerned her much given the nature of specialists’ missions. But all together, combined with the locket and what she knew of Skye? It added up to the young woman being Clay’s daughter.

“Mom?”

Alanna sighed and looked at Henna. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I shouldn’t have asked her those questions, and especially not with you girls here, listening in. It just took me by surprise. The truth is, I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Wait.” Jenny had finally caught on, and she looked at them incredulously. “You’re both crazy. You’re _not suggesting_ Uncle Clay dumped her off at the family church a few miles down the road and forgot about her. He wouldn’t do that.”

“But that was your grandmother’s locket, wasn’t it?” Henna asked, clearly intent on pushing for answers. “I’ve seen it in old pictures. Did it have the same engraving?”

“Stop.” Alanna spoke sharply and firmly. “We’re not discussing this until I’ve talked to your uncle. There has to be a reasonable explanation, and I don’t want either of you saying another word about it. Are we clear?”

Jenny looked relieved to change the subject, but the stubborn tilt of Henna’s chin let Alanna know that she wouldn’t be stalled forever. She needed to talk to Clay as soon as possible.

The girls left a few minutes later since they both had morning classes, and Alanna hit speed dial four on her phone. She got Clay’s voicemail. She hung up and dialed again. Then again.

He picked up the third time. “Honey, I’m about to go into a meeting…”

“I need to talk to you, Clay.” She kept the anger from her tone, but she knew she sounded serious.

There was a pause on his end, followed by the sound of a door closing. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to get into it on the phone.” That was the truth. “How soon can you meet me?”

“Give me a couple of hours,” he said. “I’ll meet you at your hotel.”

“Okay.” She disconnected the call and went back to the hotel. Then she sat down with a legal pad and started outlining everything she knew and everything she suspected. It only made her more upset.

By the time Clay arrived, she was just angry. He was barely inside the room before she asked the question that had been repeating in her mind, over and over, for the last couple of hours. “How could you do it?”

He paused and shot her a wary look. “Do what?”

“How could you abandon your daughter the way you did?” Never could she have imagined her brother capable of something like that. But if there had been even a sliver of doubt, it was gone the moment she saw his expression shut down.

When he started for the door, her words stopped him. “Don’t. Don’t you dare walk out of this room. You don’t get to walk away from this. I need to know _why_.”

“No, you want to know. There’s a difference,” he answered her.

He didn’t leave though. He turned and walked over to the table by the window and sat down.

Alanna walked slowly across the room to join him.

Clay maintained his stony expression, but his blue eyes, so much like her own, betrayed him. Alanna knew him well enough to know it was a front.

“Did Coulson tell you?” he finally asked. “He’s been asking questions, but I didn’t think he’d come to you.”

“Coulson knows too?” She immediately backtracked. “It doesn’t matter. The answer is no, Coulson didn’t tell me. I saw Skye this morning at the duck pond. I was waiting for the girls, and we started talking. She told me a little about her background, though not much. And then I saw her locket, and I knew.”

Her brother didn’t look away, but he didn’t offer any explanations either. She desperately needed him to explain.

“She knows, too,” she continued. “I could see it in her eyes before she left. Somehow she tracked you down at SHIELD after she ran away from St. Agnes.” Suddenly, the significance of that time frame hit her. “Which was about ten years ago. You took a six month leave of absence ten years ago. You kept track of her up until then, didn’t you? That’s why you took the leave. You were looking for her.”

Something shifted in his expression then, and for the first time he looked away.

Alanna waited.

“Skye was born in the Hunan Province in China,” Clay finally said as he stared out the window. “It’s where I met her mother, Jiaying. We were hunting stray Hydra cells and they were looking for powered people. You know some of this since you were with SHIELD at the time.”

“I know you were looking for Plan Chu,” she answered. “So was one of the Hydra cells, right?”

“Hydra was looking for powered people in general,” Clay told her. “Plan Chu was one of them, but there were rumors of a race of people who were more than human. That’s why the Paranormal Containment Unit was sent out there to begin with. Jiaying gave me information that helped us find Plan Chu. She knew he was dangerous, that Hydra was dangerous, and she wanted to protect the people in her village.”

That surprised her. “You broke your cover for her?”

He shook his head. “I was posing as an international aid worker, but somehow she knew I wasn’t. She agreed to help me as long as I didn’t tell anyone where the information came from. I didn’t plan to get involved with her in the middle of a long term mission, but it happened. Garrett and I tracked Plan Chu for the next few months in a neighboring province, and when I got back, Jiaying was almost ready to give birth. I didn’t even know she was pregnant before I left.”

“Skye said that her mother died. Was it in childbirth?” she asked.

Clay wiped a hand down his face and looked at her. “She didn’t die. She was murdered. Skye was only a few months old when Hydra agents rounded up some of the villagers. By the time I found them, it was too late for Jiaying but I snuck Skye out before SHIELD hit the base. Some of the Hydra agents escaped and I couldn’t take the chance that they’d start looking for Skye. I had given her to one of the village elders, but I doubled back a few nights later and took her.”

“And you brought her back with you. But how did you hide a baby from the team?”

“Jessica brought her back for me,” he said, sounding weary. “I didn’t know what else to do.”

Jessica Jones. She hadn’t been on the PCU team sent to China, but she wasn’t surprised that her brother had turned to her. They’d been romantically involved more than once, and she was one of the few people Clay trusted.

“Why St. Agnes? If you couldn’t keep her, you know that I would have, Clay. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“We were running down those Hydra cells for several years afterwards, and you know it,” he replied, a thread of anger in his voice. “They were interested in Jiaying’s baby. They were looking for her. But no one, not even the village elders, knew I was the father. No one knew we had been involved. I couldn’t show up in Texas with a half-Chinese daughter, Alanna. SHIELD would have asked questions, and someone might have connected the dots from Jiaying to me to Skye.”

“We could have figured something out,” she shot back, her voice rising. “She is our family and she grew up alone. How could you do that to her?”

“I made a hard call!” he shouted at her. He paused as he attempted to regain some of his control. “If you had fucking seen what I saw, you’d understand. They gutted her mother like an animal, and they didn’t give a shit that Skye was just a baby. They would have done the same damn thing to her. So I talked to the priest and we agreed that he’d keep her hidden there. I stuck around for a few months to make sure no one had tracked Jessica from China to Texas. When no one asked questions, I figured Skye was finally safe.”

Alanna realized she was crying. She took a deep breath and wiped her cheeks. “You took a leave of absence ten years ago when she ran away. That’s why you came home – to look for her. That’s why Jessica was there, too.”

“The nuns thought she might have run away, but I was afraid it was worse than that. I gave her the name Daisy Johnson, and every trace of her had vanished – no records anywhere. If Jess and I had known that she took up hacking and was hanging around with other hackers, we might have been able to find her. But she was only fifteen, and when nothing turned up through official channels I thought…”

“You thought she was probably dead,” Alanna finished quietly.

She thought back to that time. It hadn’t escaped her attention that Clay was upset about something, but she’d thought it was related to SHIELD or one of his missions. He wasn’t the first specialist to occasionally need time off to get his head back in the game. After a few months, he’d started drinking enough to spark concern. With Jessica’s help, he’d eventually pulled himself back together and gone back to work.

“Five years ago I walked into Coulson’s office and there she was,” Clay explained. “They both knew I was the one who had left her at St. Agnes. Obviously she had questions I can’t answer.”

“Questions you refused to answer.” Alanna shook her head. “It’s been twenty-five years, Clay. She deserves to know the truth. I can’t even imagine what she must think, knowing she was that close to family but you still refused to acknowledge her existence.”

“Whatever she thinks, it’s better than the alternative. I wanted her away from this world – away from SHIELD, and away from people who might hurt her,” Clay stated. “It’s too late to go back on that decision.”

Alanna realized that he had resigned himself long ago to the idea that he would never have a relationship with Skye. “Because of her mother? You said they took the villagers because they were looking for powered people. Was her mother gifted?”

He didn’t answer, and she suddenly knew he wasn’t going to. She sat back and thought about what he’d told her. If Skye’s mother was gifted, then it stood to reason that he worried Skye would be as well. She knew SHIELD’s protocol for gifted people, so she understood his concern. But Skye seemed to be perfectly normal.

He’d named her Daisy after their grandmother, and he’d left the locket with her. Clearly he’d wanted to give a piece of himself and his family to her. He cared whether he wanted to admit it or not.

“Clay, I love you, and I understand what you were thinking when you left Skye at St. Agnes,” she told him quietly. “I don’t agree that it was the best decision – for you or for her – but I understand. The problem is you’re still denying Skye a chance to know her family and where she comes from, and I can’t understand that. I refuse to believe that is best for anyone in this situation, and I’m not going to pass her in the park and pretend I don’t know she’s my niece. I can’t.”

“She doesn’t want to have anything to do with me,” Clay replied, rubbing the back of his neck.

“The girls were there when I saw the locket,” she said with a sigh.

He barked out a laugh. “Well that’s just great.”

“I’m sorry. It shocked the hell out of me, and I reacted without thinking it through. Henna being Henna, she figured out what was going on right away. Jenny doesn’t believe it, but I’ll have to talk to them about it now. And I’m not going to lie to them. They grew up in a family that’s second generation SHIELD, Clay. They can handle some half-truths, or enough to make them try to understand.”

“And then what? We’re one big happy family?” He shook his head and stood up.

It was apparent that her brother thought it was about twenty-five years too late for that. Like most specialists, he navigated life by using his head and gut instinct. They were taught to compartmentalize emotional reactions because they were dangerous to the mission; to Clay, Skye and the mission were hopelessly entangled. But Alanna was just as stubborn as he was, and she was determined to know her niece. Skye might have grown up without a family, but she had one now. She wasn’t going to give up.

**A/N: Sorry about the lack of Ward in this chapter! There’s a lot of him and Skye in the next one. But I needed to start bringing her biological family into the story because of what’s coming in future installments – particularly parts 5 and 6. More of Skye’s backstory will be revealed later, but Quartermain is still keeping a lot of secrets.**

**Up Next – Grant is caught in a sticky situation on his op, and Skye breaks protocol to get him out of it. When he returns, they both realize they’re on a slippery slope with regard to their feelings. While this prompts Skye to have a difficult conversation with Patrick, Grant resorts to compartmentalizing feelings he’s not ready to deal with yet. Alanna seeks Skye out before returning to Austin. I might have it up tomorrow since I’m tweaking it now. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

Skye could barely concentrate on her work for the remainder of the morning. She hadn’t meant to reveal so much to Alanna – or maybe she did. She wasn’t even sure anymore. The biggest twist in her mind was the necklace. A part of her wanted to rip it off and throw it in the trash now that she knew it came from Quartermain, but she was self-aware enough to realize that was the hurt talking and she’d regret it later. Regardless of why he’d given it to her, it was a family heirloom that once belonged to her great-grandmother.

A simple Internet search delivered another shock when she realized her great-grandmother’s name was Daisy Althea Quartermain. He’d named her after the woman and given her the necklace. She’d always kind of hated the name Daisy, but she had to admit that Althea would have been worse. She thought about how Henna didn’t care for Henrietta and wondered if that was another family name from the Quartermain branch.

Lunch time came and went without her even taking notice. Skye had agreed to work late that evening because Greg was on a special project, and she used the time to get caught up on reports. She was surprised to look up around seven to see Coulson standing beside her desk with boxes of Thai food.

He raised a brow at her. “It feels odd to be on the other end of the delivery service. Why don’t you take a break? It’s still hot.”

Skye smiled and followed him up to his office. They spent a few minutes dividing up the food before Coulson passed her a bottle of water from his mini-fridge and sat down.

“It’s not like you to forget a meal when there’s no emergency going on,” he observed.

She shrugged. Her stomach was rumbling now that she could smell food; rather than answer him, she dug into her spicy Pad Thai.

“So, twenty questions it is,” he continued, referencing the early days when he had more trouble getting her to talk. He’d ask questions, she wouldn’t answer, and he’d still end up figuring things out surprisingly often based on her reactions alone.

She really hated it at the time, but it had become a sort of private joke between them in the years since then.

“Your work load this week is boring with Ward and his team gone,” he said, scooping up a bite of rice and chewing slowly. “Or maybe you’re missing your morning coffee time.”

Her hand stilled for a moment before she went back to twirling her noodles around her fork. She hadn’t realized Coulson noticed that.

“So, I’ll take that as a yes.”

_Damn it._ Maybe she could ask May to start teaching her espionage tricks like how to hide tells. She’d forgotten how good he was at this.

“You two are unlikely friends. Is it more than that?” he asked. There was no judgment in his tone; he sounded more curious than anything.

“Nope,” she replied, keeping her eyes on her noodles. She was no rookie, after all. She’d learned long ago that he could spot a lie much easier when she looked at him, completely destroying her idea that making eye contact helped her sell it.

“So, yes again.” Now he sounded a little amused.

_Damn it._ How did he do that? Sometimes she wondered what kind of Jedi mind tricks the agency taught field operatives.

She wanted to go on the defensive but she knew that was another rookie mistake. She took a bite of food instead.

“Simmons brought me the first reports based on her studies of the Obelisk,” he said, abruptly shifting gears.

Her hand crept up to her locket, and she played with it as she thought about the experiments Jemma and Fitz had been running. They’d first done tests on the object alone. Then they’d drawn her blood, but Jemma said there was nothing out of the ordinary about her blood samples. After that, she’d asked Skye to touch the artifact in order to study the symbols that lit up in response.

Skye hated it – all of it, really. She hated being studied, and she hated touching the Obelisk. It never failed to make her feel weird and on edge. But they needed answers, so she didn’t complain.

“I pulled Quartermain into another meeting this morning, but he’s still evading my questions.”

She squeezed the locket for a moment and then released it. The last thing she really wanted to think about was that hella awkward conversation between her and Alanna. Her stomach had been in knots most of the day as she wondered if Quartermain would be angry that his big secret was out.

“Have you talked to Quartermain?” Coulson asked.

Her hand went to the locket again. “No.”

When he didn’t say anything, Skye stood up and tossed her plate in the trash.

“Skye.” It was almost funny how much he could say with just her name.

She sighed. “I saw Alanna this morning. We were talking a little, and I said too much. Also, she recognized my locket – bottom line, she knows.” She sat back down and took a long sip of her water.

Coulson nodded. “Okay. Honestly, Skye, it’s long past time for her to know the truth about you. Just because Quartermain is a stubborn ass doesn’t mean you can’t get to know the rest of your family.”

“I mean, she might not even want that,” she said with a shrug. “I’m not assuming anything. But I found out two things I didn’t know – my great-grandmother was named Daisy and this locket belonged to her.”

She felt tense as she waited for him to comment on that – on why Quartermain would bother giving her a family name and a family heirloom. She still didn’t understand it but her past experiences with her father had taught her not to make hopeful assumptions. She wasn’t about to make that mistake again, and she stubbornly didn’t want to hear Coulson’s theories, either.

Thankfully, Coulson let that go. “I think you underestimate Alanna.”

She’d like to believe that, but she had her doubts. She felt Coulson’s eyes on her as she twisted her water bottle and picked at the label, and she was relieved when his phone rang. She looked up, only half-listening until she noticed an abrupt change in his expression. He glanced at her and then looked at some papers on his desk. It was a deliberate move, and she didn’t think he was really seeing the papers.

His body language was different, too. He was doing that thing he sometimes did when he didn’t want her to know he was worried about something – his shoulders had shifted back in a loose, relaxed manner. He was nodding and smiling now. His side of the conversation was simple – question words, mostly.

Skye guessed it could just be SHIELD business she wasn’t cleared to know about, but it felt more like he was deliberately hiding something from her, specifically.

“Give me five minutes,” Coulson said before ending the call and looking over at Skye. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but there’s something I need to take care of. But come see me before you leave this evening.”

“Sure, no problem.” Skye stood up and walked out of the office.

She bit her lip, crossing her arms and tapping her foot as she waited for the elevator. It was probably nothing – just one of the many emergencies that cropped up on projects that Coulson headed up for Fury. But the nagging feeling wouldn’t go away.

Stepping out of the elevator, she was nearly run down by Greg as he careened around the corner, laptop in hand.

“Sorry,” he said, rushing into the elevator.

Skye frowned. Greg had been pulled off of most day-to-day missions three days ago. As far as she knew, he was working with Agent Hand this week. On what, she didn’t know since it was above her clearance level and Hand would probably rather hail Hydra than work with her anyway.

Hand was a strict by-the-handbook type of agent and Skye had mocked the handbook fairly frequently during her first year on the job. Hand thought she was undisciplined while Skye thought the older woman could benefit from a sense of humor. It wasn’t a mutual admiration society by any stretch of the imagination.

In fact, she suspected that Grant’s super-secret mission fell under Hand’s supervision since Skye had been shut out. They’d been working together more and more lately, and she knew that she was being considered for a bump in clearance level. Still, Hand usually chose Greg or Freemont even when Skye was better suited to the task. Grant never spoke against her or her decisions, but she was well aware of how frustrated he got when forced to work with Greg on tasks he thought she could accomplish faster and with more efficiency.

While she didn’t have any idea what Grant’s team was doing, she had a time frame for the mission. It should be wrapping up by tomorrow. And now Coulson was hiding something and Greg had shot upstairs like Fury himself called.

Something was wrong. She could feel it.

Skye stopped at her desk, grabbed her laptop, and headed for Jemma’s office. When she arrived, she saw her friend peering at something through a magnifying glass while she made notes on a legal pad.

Jemma looked up and smiled as Skye walked in and shut the door. “Excellent. I was thinking about the symbols on the artifact and I wondered…”

“Sorry, Jemma, but I don’t have time for that right now. I need your computer.” Skye shifted her feet impatiently as she waited for Jemma to gather her things and move. Then she sat and attached her laptop to the mainframe.

“What are you doing?” Jemma asked curiously.

“I need to see what Greg’s working on and I don’t want to take a chance that someone might see me out in the office,” Skye explained. She was already in and she quickly began going through Greg’s logs.

“Skye!” Jemma exclaimed. “If you get caught…”

She rolled her eyes. “Not gonna happen. Besides, I have a bad feeling, like something’s wrong with Grant’s mission.”

“You mean Agent Hand’s mission,” Jemma said, pulling up a chair in order to sit beside her.

“Probably.” Skye scanned the data streaming across her screen. Bingo – it was definitely Grant’s mission. According to the mission outline, his plan was to enter a closed lab located on the outskirts of Lima, gather research data, and then set charges on his way out. There was obviously a problem, but she’d need to hear what was going on to see if she could fix it.

Skye hit a few keys and then plugged in so she could listen to the radio chatter. It took less than a minute to determine that Grant was locked in the lab due to a power surge that had reset the system. With the type of system they had, a reset required that a second pin code be entered to unlock the doors and Grant’s team didn’t have it. Once the armed guards made their rounds in the next ten minutes, he’d be caught.

Her fingers flew across the keyboard again as she scanned the mission details. The lab was privately owned by the head of a local drug cartel. Scientists there were suspected of conducting human trials with alien technology, so there was no way Grant would be able to talk his way out of it. She was equally certain they wouldn’t turn him over to the authorities. It was far more likely that they would torture him to find out who he worked for.

“Oh, dear.” Jemma had grabbed one of the earbuds to listen as she read over Skye’s shoulder. “Can you get him out?”

Skye didn’t reply. She piggybacked Greg’s signal to get into the company’s system and started looking for a way to open the lab doors. Greg was good, but she was better and faster when it came to working under pressure. While Greg was running an algorithm to access the door code, Skye bypassed security altogether and went into the electrical system.

***

Grant glanced at his watch as he paced in the lab. He had about ten minutes to complete the mission and get out before the guards came back through. While there was evidence of past human trials being conducted on site, they’d only found one female patient locked up in that wing. Natasha and Tripp had gotten her out to the secondary team, leaving Grant to clean up.

The lab was occupied by one doctor and two nurses when they arrived, but the floor was otherwise empty. In fact, infrared showed the entire facility was largely abandoned. Based on the transfer orders he’d found, it looked like other patients and equipment had already been moved to a new lab. It was something they’d have to look into when they returned to D.C.

He heard whimpering, and he grimaced. The only creature left in the lab was a baby monkey Grant was beginning to suspect was more pet than research subject. It had a cushy little cage complete with blankets and a stuffed bear, and it was wearing a diaper that, based on the smell, he thought probably needed to be changed.

When the power surge hit and the locks reset, the baby monkey’s cage door had popped open. Grant had walked over to lock it again, which was how he’d ended up with a baby monkey burrowed inside his jacket. A very smelly little monkey that reminded Grant he really didn’t like monkeys. They were always troublemakers when he ran across them in the rainforests of South America.

It was still small, with light colored fur around the face and shoulders and darker fur on the rest of its body, and it reminded him of a monkey Fitz had been going on about in the lab one day when he was there to test a new piece of equipment. Skye told him later that the engineer was a little obsessed because he wanted a pet monkey. Grant couldn’t imagine a monkey being a very good pet. He’d always preferred dogs.

The monkey whimpered again. Grant reached inside his jacket and once more tried to pull the little creature away from his vest, but it was a lot stronger than it appeared to be and had quite a grip. He didn’t want it in his jacket, but he didn’t want to hurt it either, so he resigned himself to having a passenger for the time being.

He looked at his watch again and saw he was down to six minutes. He tapped his communication device. “Status?”

“Not good.”

Garrett sounded grim, which meant he probably needed to get ready to greet the welcome wagon. He knew his team would double back for him later, but the next few hours wouldn’t be any fun. Suddenly, the lab went dark and he heard the lock release on the main doors.

Grant tapped his comm device once more. “It’s open.”

He’d pulled three hard drives from the bank of computers in the lab. They were still lying beside the empty cage, so he strode across the room and tossed them into a bag that appeared to hold supplies for his little hitchhiker. Then he zipped his jacket and went out the door.

The hallway was dark; outside the main wing, he took a moment to arm the device he’d placed there before entering the lab. He expected to have more trouble with locked doors on his way out of the building, but the power surges now appeared to be strategic in nature in order to help him get outside. Apparently Greg had finally come through.

The power surges were affecting the floodlights outside as well. Though the guards had left the building and were now inspecting the perimeter in response to the electrical problem, he was able to get over the electric fence without incident. He heard the first blast as he started running; six minutes later and a mile down the road, he saw the van.

Tripp was driving, and Natasha was in the back with Garrett. The older man slid the door closed behind Grant and then sniffed.

“I know you were in a tight spot son, but I’ve never known you to shit your pants before.” Garrett was grinning.

Damn monkey – its diaper was stinking up the whole van. Grant reached into the bag and tossed the hard drives to Garrett. “I had a problem.”

As if the monkey realized it was the topic of discussion, it wiggled inside Grant’s jacket in an attempt to burrow closer.

Garrett leaned in to get a better look as Grant unzipped his jacket. “What the hell is that?”

“It’s a monkey, sir.”

Natasha snorted with laughter, and Grant glared at her.

“I’ve got eyes, Ward. What the hell is it doing here?” Garrett looked at him incredulously. “Is that a diaper?”

“It was in the lab,” Grant explained. “The cage opened when the first power surge hit and it sort of… latched on.” He glanced over at Natasha to see that she had picked up the bag to inspect its contents.

“In the middle of a crisis and you still remembered the diaper bag,” she commented, lips twitching.

Garrett started laughing. “Grant Ward, monkey whisperer.”

Gritting his teeth, Grant started trying to pull the monkey away again, but it cried so pitifully that he stopped. He looked over at Natasha, who was still grinning at him. “Could you…”

She raised her hands and shook her head. “No. Your monkey shit, your problem. I don’t do diapers for any species.”

Grant sat back, resigned to trying again once they got on the plane. It was going to be a long damn trip back to the Triskelion.

***

Skye was finishing up a report mid-morning when her desk phone rang. Seeing Grant’s extension, she picked up eagerly. “Hey.”

“I need you to come up here,” Grant said.

He sounded tired and irritated, and there was a strange chirping noise in the background. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just… need your help with something.”

“Okay.” She hung up and logged off her computer, hitting the breakroom for a coffee refill before taking the elevator up to Operations.

Upstairs she knocked on Grant’s closed office door.

“Come in.”

Skye opened the door and stopped dead at the scene before her. Grant was struggling to get a diaper off of a baby monkey, who appeared to think it was some kind of game. She raised a hand to cover her mouth and the laughter that threatened to bubble forth. Based on his expression, she didn’t think he’d appreciate that.

She closed the door behind her. “New pet?” she asked, trying not to smile.

Looking disgusted, he shook his head. “It’s a long story. Tripp helped me change the diaper once on the plane and things were fine until it finally ate something this morning. Now it smells again and it suddenly doesn’t want to sit still.”

“And I’m supposed to do what exactly?” Skye shot him a look as she set her coffee on the far edge of his desk. “Having boobs and a vagina doesn’t make me qualified to be an inter-species diaper changer.”

“Skye, come on. Please.”

She sighed and approached cautiously. It was small, maybe a few months old, and had light, yellowish fur on its face and shoulders while the top of its head and the rest of its body sported darker fur. Something nudged her memory. “I think that’s a capuchin monkey.”

Glancing over at her in surprise, Grant asked, “How do you know that?”

“Fitz,” she explained. The monkey had stopped wiggling and was looking at her with interest. She reached out and touched its furry little chest with a gentle finger. “He’s looked at pictures of monkeys before – I think this was the kind he wanted.”

The monkey chirped up at her and she smiled. It actually was kind of cute – not like the poop throwing monkeys she’d seen at the zoo.

Grant took advantage of the baby’s sudden distraction and managed to unfasten the diaper. He started to pull it off but Skye stopped him.

“Wait, you’re doing it wrong. You need to clean it before you put the new diaper on. Or at least, that’s how they changed babies at St. Agnes.” She nudged him out of the way and tickled the monkey’s chest again. “Do you actually have baby monkey supplies?”

He pulled a bag closer and pulled out wipes and diapers. Surprisingly, the monkey lay still as she cleaned it up and put a new diaper on. When she finished, she picked it up and it immediately latched on to her hair and started snuggling against her chest.

“There. Not so hard,” Skye told him. She tried to pull the monkey away, but it refused to budge. “She’s strong. I think she’s a she, anyway. When did you get back? And how exactly did you end up with a baby monkey?”

“We got in this morning,” he explained. “And the monkey was a pet being kept at the mission target.”

“So you rescued it? Aww, that’s sweet.”

“I’m not a fireman pulling kittens out of trees. It was hanging onto me just like it’s doing to you right now, and I didn’t have time to deal with it,” he replied in an irritated tone.

She raised a brow, wondering just how much shit – literally and figuratively – he’d put up with on the way back to put him in his current mood. Probably a lot. “Well, you’re in luck because I think there is a one hundred percent chance we can pass your monkey problem off to Fitz.”

“You really think he’ll take it?” he asked, unable to hide the hope in his voice.

He sounded tired. She nodded to the bag and said, “Grab the bag and let’s go find out.”

They passed Coulson in the hallway on the way to the elevator. He stopped short and raised his brows when he saw Skye, Grant and the monkey.

“Surprise, you’re a grandfather,” she told him with a smirk as she patted the monkey’s diapered behind, a move that elicited contented chirps from the baby animal.

Coulson shook his head. “You know what? I don’t even want to know.”

“Do you think Fitz could get permission to keep her in his lab?” Skye asked. “She’s probably too little to be left alone all day.” When she could see him about to refuse, she said, “Come on, AC. You have to have a soft spot for the orphans of the world.”

Coulson looked resigned. “Tell him to come see me.”

She smiled in satisfaction as he walked away. They passed several people who stared at the sight of them walking the halls with a baby monkey, though no one stopped them to ask questions. When they reached the lab, Skye paused.

“Look, Fitz will definitely want the monkey, but Jemma is going to be a harder sell,” she told Grant. “So, we’re going to need to embellish this story a little. We’ll say you rescued the monkey…”

“I didn’t rescue it,” he interrupted, looking aggravated again.

She waved him off. “Unless you want to take the monkey home later today, you rescued it from a lab doing terrible animal experimentation. She’s an orphan, she needs a loving parent who knows how to take care of her, and you immediately thought of Fitz because of that time he told you all about monkeys.”

“I think it was actually a pet,” he said with a sigh.

“Animal experimentation, Grant,” she insisted. “And we’re going to offer to go get some supplies for Fitz’s new baby during our lunch break.”

“Fine. Anything to get rid of it. But it would probably be better off in a zoo.”

She sighed. “Probably. That’s a debate Jemma and Fitz will have. My main concern right now is that neither one of us ends up babysitting a monkey for the rest of the day. I don’t have time for that. Do you?” She raised a brow at him.

“No.” He sounded horrified by the very idea. “Rescued orphan, animal experimentation.”

She nodded and opened the door to the lab. Inside, Jemma and Fitz were at one of the lab stations looking at a piece of equipment that vaguely resembled a gun.

“We need to make the darts smaller,” Jemma was saying. “The idea is to tag and track individuals. Something with a slight sting, maybe. It could be mistaken for an insect bite.”

Fitz nodded, looking up as Skye and Grant approached. He froze, his mouth falling open. “Is that a baby capuchin monkey?”

Skye smiled widely. “Merry early Christmas, Fitz! I know you’ll be very happy together.”

“What?” Jemma shook her head, looking dismayed. “No, no – it’s October, far too early for Christmas gifts. We also can’t have a monkey in this lab! It’s against regulation!”

“We cleared that with Agent Coulson,” Grant assured her. He looked at Fitz, who was already at Skye’s side, stroking the monkey gently. “He said you should talk to him later and you can work something out.”

“But where did you get it?” Fitz asked. “They’re illegal here.”

Skye shook her head, careful to pull her lips down into a sorrowful expression. “It’s a really, really sad story. She’s so little, and she’s been through so much.” Jemma was watching her suspiciously. Hmm – it would probably sound better coming from Grant. She was less likely to expect bullshit from him. “Tell them, Grant.”

“The mission is classified,” Grant explained, “but her parents are dead. She was all alone when I found her – cold, hungry, crying. There was evidence of experimentation.” His delivery was solemn without being overly dramatic.

Wow. He was pretty good at this. Skye could see that even Jemma was wavering now.

Fitz was horrified. “Experimentation on baby monkeys?”

“Luckily, I think I found her before she suffered too much,” Grant continued. “She wouldn’t even eat until this morning, but she seems a little better now. I thought of you right away, Fitz. I remembered you telling me about monkeys that day here in the lab. I know you’re the best person to raise her.”

Jemma heaved an exasperated sigh, but Skye thought it was a good sign that she looked conflicted. “Fitz, the last thing we need is a monkey here in the lab. They’re illegal…”

“Not if we get the proper permits,” Fitz interrupted. “Agent Coulson can help us with that.”

“She could have diseases! We have no idea what sort of shots she’s had, or if she’s had any at all. That’s not even considering potential complications from unknown experimentation!”

Fitz was still stroking the monkey, and Skye was surprised when the baby suddenly released her death grip on Skye’s hair and turned towards him. He gently helped her make the transfer from Skye’s chest to his own, and the monkey made more of the contented chirping noises as she grasped his shirt and rested her small head against his chest.

Jemma’s face fell, and Skye was careful to contain her smile. _Game over._

“I suppose I can draw some blood and run some tests this afternoon,” Jemma finally said. “I can check for antibodies to determine which shots she may already have had.” She reached out and rubbed a finger lightly over the baby monkey’s head.

Skye figured it was a good time to make an exit. She took the bag from Grant and set it at Fitz’s feet. “Grant and I will go pick up more supplies to get you started. We’ll even bring back lunch so you can have some bonding time. She already looks so happy.”

Grabbing Grant’s hand and pulling him towards the door, she added, “Just send me a list of what you think she’ll need.”

Once outside the lab, she breathed a sigh of relief. “That was actually easier than I thought it would be. Way to sell it, Agent Ward.”

“I’m just glad it’s over,” he said, running a hand through his hair and glancing down at a few stains on his white dress shirt. “I have a debriefing at two-thirty this afternoon, but we can go to lunch any time before that.”

“Twelve,” she told him. “It might take a while to get what we need. I’ll order lunch for Fitz and Jemma, and we can grab something on the way back.”

He smiled. “Okay.”

They parted ways at the elevators. Skye felt much lighter as she made her way back to her desk. She knew that tight spots came with the territory of being an agent, and that was even truer for specialists. Despite knowing that Grant could handle himself and had been doing so for much longer than she’d known him, she had been really worried the night before. Seeing him again today made her realize just how much she looked forward to spending time with him. Coulson was right – she had missed him.

**A/N – So, a plot bunny – or in this case, a plot monkey – totally hijacked my update. I had the idea to add the baby monkey before, decided against it, and then changed my mind and wrote her in. I don’t actually agree with having animals like that as pets, but for the sake of this story, Fitz has a monkey haha. Plus, I could not resist having it be part of Grant’s mission because the ribbing he’s getting from the other agents was just writing itself in my head lol. The story will be three parts now instead of two – oops. I hope you at least liked the addition of the monkey!**

**Up Next: A FitzWard moment got moved to part 3. :)   SkyeWard moments abound. Grant figures out Skye interfered when he goes to his debriefing and isn’t happy about it. A personal moment between them leads to some realizations on both sides. Skye and Patrick have a talk, and Grant decides he needs to pull back. Alanna seeks Skye out before returning to Austin. I will get on the editing so I don’t make you wait too long. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

 

Skye frowned at her screen as she sorted through information she’d spent the morning gathering from one of Stark’s servers. She’d hacked into two separate security firms under the umbrella of Stark’s company in order to find weak points since they’d both been targets of Rising Tide in the last month. She’d found a backdoor entry this time, which eventually led her to a rootkit so well placed she almost missed it.

Every time Rising Tide came up on SHIELD’s radar, she worried that she would find Miles behind one of the hacks. But she knew his style well, and so far she hadn’t found a trail that led to him. This time it appeared to be a hacker known by the handle pi3. It was simple. The more leet speak handles – long and full of varying characters – often spoke to teenage hackers of lesser skill. She still cringed when she thought of her first handle.

Skye bit her lip as she studied the screen and the source code in the rootkit. After a few minutes, she opened Notepad and began writing a program that would allow the rootkit to stay in place while redirecting outgoing information so that they could control what the hacker received. Stark’s IT department had already provided a dummy base that she could loop into the program, which would give her enough time to do background on pi3 and see what they were up against and just what information they might be after.

“Hey.”

Skye pulled her eyes away from her code to see Patrick standing beside her desk. “Hey. Sorry, I didn’t even hear you.”

He smiled. “You looked like you were deep in code. New project?”

“Yeah.” She glanced down at her watch to see it was five to twelve. “Crap, I didn’t even notice the time.”

“I thought we could go to lunch together,” Patrick said. “But you have time to finish up. I have a department meeting at two but we could go in thirty minutes or so?”

Oh. Biting her lip, she looked over at him. “I’m actually having lunch with Grant. We’re running some errands for Fitz.”

His smile faded. “Oh. I thought he was away this week?”

“He got back this morning.” Skye thought about asking Patrick to join them, but things had been very tense between them since her first field mission. He wanted to know what happened that had Grant so worried, and she couldn’t tell him. Patrick knew that. He knew the mission data was classified and he hadn’t been cleared for the debrief intel.

It wasn’t fair of him to ask her, but she also understood why he did it. He was jealous of the time she’d been spending with Grant even though ninety percent of the time it was work related. And the other ten percent, like their morning coffee dates, was important enough to her that she didn’t want to give it up.

She attempted to explain. “Grant rescued a baby monkey during his mission and he gave it to Fitz this morning. We promised we’d go pick up some supplies so he has what he needs before he goes home tonight.”

“Wow.” Patrick smiled again, but there was little humor in his expression. “I guess he’ll be Fitz’s hero for life, huh?”

Skye could feel nerves twisting knots in her stomach. She and Patrick were at a crossroads and she knew it was time for her to choose a path. He’d hit a point where he wanted more than just casual exclusivity out of the relationship, and Skye didn’t know what she wanted. Meanwhile, she had a dozen things going on lately that she couldn’t even talk to him about, and the stress of the situation was starting to get to her.

“Grant’s a good guy. Little hard to get a read on, but a good guy.” Patrick shoved his hands into his pockets and sighed. “Think maybe you can find time for us to talk this week?”

“Yeah, of course,” she answered quickly. “I’m working late tonight, but you know – any other night.”

He nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you later.”

Skye watched Patrick walk away and then put her head down on her desk for a minute. She needed to figure her shit out once and for all this week because she wasn’t being fair to him anymore.

“Skye?”

She raised her head and saw Grant looking at her with a concerned expression. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m just… tired,” she told him. Eyeing the bags in his hand, she asked, “Lunch for Fitz and Jemma?”

He nodded. “I ordered from the panini place. I got the extra crispy pickle spears, and the tea that Jemma likes.”

“Did you remember the little tea cakes?”

“Of course. I thought maybe it would put her in a good mood. If you want to finish up what you’re working on, I’ll take it to them.”

“Okay.” She smiled as she turned back to her computer. Since she’d be working late that night to finish up this project, she really needed this lunch break.

***

Grant tried not to smile as he watched Skye wander around the baby department. It was clear that she was as clueless as he was about this type of thing, and she kept biting her lip as she scanned the list Fitz had emailed to her.

“It’s just a bottle, Skye,” he said, reaching out for a package of three. “What about this one?”

“It is one of the better brands,” she said slowly after looking at the package information. She was scanning information online now, scrolling quickly. “Okay, grab a few more of those. And we need the bottle warmer and sterilizer.” She pulled more boxes off the shelf. “And preemie diapers. She’s still pretty small, but I think the diapers in that bag were preemie size. Now we need some sweaters.”

“What?” She was buying clothes for it now? “It’s not a real baby.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Yes, I know that, but it gets cold in that lab during the winter months. Fitz said she’ll need some clothes, like sweaters and things that can keep her warm. Oh, a diaper genie.”

“A what?” he asked, confused.

“This.” Skye held up the box. “For disposal of dirty diapers. That way they won’t stink up the trash cans in the lab. It’s this or a biohazard disposal unit, and this is probably easier.”

Grant glanced at their very full shopping cart. They’d already visited a large pet store and had several bags being held in customer service, and the pet store would be delivering some of the bulkier items. It looked like they’d need to have this delivered as well.

He followed Skye to the back, where clothes were hanging on the wall and on racks. He smiled again when she went straight for the girls’ preemie clothes. “Do we even know for sure that it’s a girl?”

“Fitz said yes. Besides, the girly clothes are so cute,” she said, grinning at him over her shoulder. She brushed her hair back and studied the options before her.

That smile. It always did something to him, and it had been that way ever since the first night she showed up at his booth, Johnnie Walker in hand. It had only been a week, but he’d missed her. A lot.

She was in a better mood now than she had been before they left for lunch, and he wondered again what was bothering her. He saw Patrick getting on the elevator after he picked up the food delivery from the security desk. Were they fighting?

Grant watched her toss some t-shirts and sweaters in the basket. Some of them were tiny while others were a little bigger, probably to be worn in a few months. He picked up one of the t-shirts hanging from a rack and examined the snaps at the bottom curiously. “I think I remember my baby cousin wearing these.”

“Onesies,” Skye told him, pausing to look over at him. “You never really talk about your family. I hear they’re like, political royalty.”

“They are,” he confirmed. “I’m officially the black sheep of the family, though, so I don’t rate the family Christmas card every year.”

Skye pretended to examine the package of baby blankets in her hand, but he could tell that she was thinking about what he’d said and weighing whether or not to pursue the topic.

“If you have questions, you can ask.” It wasn’t a topic he usually opened for discussion, but he was surprised to realize that he actually didn’t mind if Skye was the one asking the questions.

“I know your older brother, Christian, is a senator,” she finally continued. “And you have a younger brother and sister. You’re not in contact with any of them?”

He raised a brow though he wasn’t really surprised to find out she’d Googled his family. “No, not really. Christian is a lot like my parents and we’ve never gotten along. I haven’t seen them since I graduated from West Point and went to work for SHIELD. I’ve seen Thomas and Elizabeth a few times since then. Thomas is married, has a daughter. I heard Elizabeth is engaged. I’ve been meaning to send an engagement gift.”

“When’s the last time you saw them?” she asked.

Grant had to think about it for a minute. “About four years ago. I was between missions and they were both here for something at the White House. We had lunch.”

“That’s it?” Her tone was incredulous and slightly accusatory. She seemed to realize it though because she shook her head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like I’m judging you, it’s just… I think about all the years I would have killed to know even the tiniest bit of information about my family. It’s really hard to understand that someone with a family, even a crappy one, wouldn’t somehow hang onto that connection, I guess.”

He’d honestly never thought about it like that, but he could see how Skye would think the connection was worth hanging onto no matter what. He glanced at their cart. “Why don’t you finish up? We still need to eat before we go back.”

For a second he thought she might argue, but then she nodded and went back to browsing the clothes on display. Grant walked over to a shelf of plush toys. He picked up a soft, chocolate brown teddy bear and studied it as he remembered that there had been a similar toy in the monkey’s cage at the lab. She was clinging to the toy when he first saw her.

He held onto it until Skye completed her shopping and then added it to the pile.

Skye raised an amused brow but didn’t comment on it, and he felt compelled to explain the gesture.

“There was a bear like that in her cage at the lab,” he told her. “I figured since she likes holding onto things and people, the bear might be a good idea.”

“I didn’t say anything,” she replied with a laugh, pushing the cart past him and back up the aisle.

They paid and arranged for the bulk of the items to be delivered, though Skye separated a few things and added them to the bags they picked up at customer service.

Outside it was sunny but cool, and Skye paused to adjust her scarf. “We still have about an hour before we should head back. What do you feel like for lunch?”

“Why don’t we pick up sandwiches and take them to the park?” Grant suggested. “It’s a nice day, and the ducks probably won’t be there much longer.” He knew how much she enjoyed feeding them and suspected she had some of their seed and grain mix in her bag.

After they got their food and settled at one of the benches near the pond, Grant picked up their earlier conversation. “Contrary to their portrayal in the media, the Ward family is dysfunctional.”

Skye set her sandwich down carefully. She looked surprised that he was talking about it again, but she remained silent and waited for him to continue.

He stuck to the facts. “I don’t think my mother ever really wanted children. She certainly didn’t like them. She bullied Christian a lot in her attempts to mold him into the Ward heir she envisioned. He turned that on me because my father was fonder of Thomas and Elizabeth, which put them off limits.”

“You say bullied,” Skye said quietly. “Physically or emotionally or…?”

“Both, up until high school. Then I was bigger than Christian, so he had to adjust his tactics.” The memory of the first time he’d knocked Christian on his ass still made him smile.

“And your parents just ignored it? They never stepped in?” Skye sounded outraged now. She reached out and took his hand in hers, squeezing gently.

Grant stared down at her small hand. She did that so easily – reached out to everyone around her. It was one of the things that never failed to amaze him because she had more reasons than anyone to hold back. He turned his hand over and threaded their fingers together.

“My father was a big fan of drinking just enough to allow himself to believe in the rosy front my mother presented to him. He also didn’t see anything wrong with a little rivalry between brothers. My mother encouraged it. As long as Christian never crossed the line into serious physical injury, she didn’t care.”

He’d suffered a couple of broken bones, but he learned early that medical professionals didn’t question the Ward family over the types of injuries many growing and active boys sustained.

“In high school I had better grades than Christian, which pissed him off. At that point, I did everything I could to piss them all off. I played football instead of lacrosse or golf and refused to run for student council. They were Patriots fans? I rooted for the Colts, the Chargers, the Jets – anyone except the Patriots. I never put on a smile for the Christmas card or for family appearances. I made sure my tie was just a little crooked.”

It had amused him that the smallest things were the ones that drove his mother the craziest. He was a hundred percent sure she would have enjoyed bailing him out of jail more than she had liked sending out that annual Christmas card where his tie was askew and he was purposely affecting an expression most often associated with serial killers. She couldn’t leave him out of the photo and she couldn’t control him at that point, either. His father had already begun ignoring him, and Christian had abandoned any attempts at physical dominance by then.

Really, those had been his best years with his family.

Grant squeezed her hand again before releasing it. “I was still on track to follow the Ward family plan after high school. Christian was the political prodigy and heir apparent, but I had my choice of Ivy League schools. Harvard law would have been acceptable, or I could have been a doctor. Instead I went behind my father’s back and got myself nominated for West Point. My family probably could have worked the war hero angle during an election year, but then SHIELD recruited me out of my graduating class.”

“So they know about you working for SHIELD?” Skye asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

“Oh yeah, they know. They don’t have confirmation of what I do, but I’m sure they’ve guessed. I know Christian has tried getting access to my file, but specialist files are highly classified and remain in-house, no exceptions. Not even the president has access to that kind of information and even if he did, I doubt he’d pull strings to get it. SHIELD is powerful, but they’re also the one organization our government likes to disassociate from the most considering the types of ops we run. Even the Battle of New York hasn’t changed that.”

“So your parents and your older brother are obviously first rate assholes, but you still have Thomas and Elizabeth,” Skye pointed out. “I mean, they were stuck as much as you were.”

He shrugged. “I chose to get out, and they stayed in. Leaving the Wards was like escaping from a cult mentality. There’s no halfway with them. Thomas got his law degree from Yale and works for a top firm in Boston. Elizabeth attended Wellesley – she’s smart enough for her choice of graduate programs, but her fiancé is a lawyer who’s got his eye on Congress. It’s likelier that she’ll be a professional hostess and spend her extra time heading up charities. The bright side is that her fiancé seems to be a nice enough guy as future politicians go.” Unlike Christian.

“You could try to see them now that you’re more settled,” Skye said.

She reached across the table and took the pickle spear from his plate. Despite his distaste for the topic of his family, it made him smile. She’d already eaten hers, and he’d been waiting for her to take his. The food truck where they’d gotten their sandwiches served homemade pickles, and Skye loved them so much that he never ate the one that came with his plate when he was with her.

“I could do that,” he acknowledged, “but having a close relationship with the brother who works for SHIELD probably wouldn’t be the best thing for either of them.”

“If it were my brother, I wouldn’t care about that. At all.”

Grant considered that for a minute. He didn’t really know how Thomas or Elizabeth felt about the estrangement. They had both been reserved at their last meeting, but they also made an effort to keep in contact by email, and it was Elizabeth who called him about having lunch once she realized they would all be in D.C. at the same time.

“Do they even know that you’re here full time right now?” she finally asked.

“Elizabeth called to tell me about her engagement a couple of months ago,” he told her. He kept that line specifically for her and Thomas, actually. “Mostly we keep in touch by email, once a month or so. They don’t usually ask where I am because they know it’s classified.”

“You should tell them,” Skye stated firmly. “I bet they’d like to know. Then they can decide what’s best for them since that’s not actually your job.”

Feeling like they’d exhausted the topic of the Wards, he turned the tables on her. “What about you? Something’s been bothering you. Do you want to talk about it?”

She told him about her meeting with Alanna as they finished their lunch. While her tone didn’t reflect her anxiety, he couldn’t help noticing the way she kept touching the locket around her neck. It was both a nervous and defensive gesture. He guessed she had mixed feelings about wearing it now, but for someone like Skye, cutting any tie at all with her past was likely very difficult.

She probably didn’t even recognize the wistful and hopeful thread in her voice when she talked about her birth family. The anger was there as well, especially when she mentioned Quartermain, but he suspected that she was embracing the anger now in order to convince herself she didn’t want or need anything from them.

They cleaned up after themselves and fed the ducks before they began walking back to the Triskelion.

“And then there are the experiments Jemma and Fitz are doing,” she said, shifting her bags as they waited at a crosswalk.

Something about the way she said it bothered him, and his fists clenched around the handles of the bags he carried. “What experiments?”

When she didn’t answer, he drew his own conclusions. He tamped down the anger he could feel building up, waiting until they were away from the crowd to prompt for more. “When did that start?”

“About a week ago,” she answered quietly. “It’s fine, it’s not… hurting me, or anything like that. It’s just scary, I guess.”

She was right to be afraid – both of the experiments and of what they represented. “Who knows about it?”

“Only Jemma, Fitz and Coulson,” she said. “And now you. I’m probably not supposed to say anything, but not being able to talk about it in a non-scientific way with anyone really sucks, you know?”

“Are they ongoing?”

She nodded. “I’m working late tonight on a project for Stark, but afterwards I have to stop by the lab and let Jemma take some more blood, touch the creepy artifact, and then let her take my blood again. That’s about it, really. It only takes a few minutes, but I get this sick feeling about it afterwards. I can’t tell Jemma that though because she’d feel terrible. She’s already really sensitive about being the one doing the poking and prodding, and Fitz isn’t happy about it, either.”

Grant thought he and Fitz were probably on the same page, then. “I’ll come with you.”

“You don’t have to do that,” she protested. “Really, it’s fine.”

“It’s not fine,” he bit out, frustrated. He stopped and set the bags down and put his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look up at him. “I know why they’re doing it. Forewarned is forearmed is practically a SHIELD motto, and I’m sure Coulson thinks it’s better if he’s the one with the forewarning. I don’t even disagree with that. But being experimented on is not fine, Skye.”

She stared back at him with glassy brown eyes, and he could tell she was holding back tears. “I know.”

He reached up and smoothed his hand down her glossy brown curls before tucking a few strands behind her ear. “I want to see exactly what they’re doing, so I’m coming with you. I have a lot of paperwork to get through anyway. Just let me know when you think you’ll be finished. Okay?”

Skye nodded and drew a shaky breath before stepping back. “Okay.”

They were both quiet as they walked into the Triskelion, went through security and made their way to the lab. Once there Skye seemed to lighten up again, laughing at the modified sling Fitz had worked up so that he could carry the baby monkey against his chest as he worked, an arrangement that seemed to make the animal happy.

“She’s weirdly like an actual human baby,” Skye observed as she watched Fitz gently patting her.

She had been sleeping when they first arrived but woke up when they all started talking. She kept yawning and blinking her eyes, but she was also seemingly transfixed by the sight of Grant, something that was starting to make him a little uncomfortable.  

“I’ve been reading about them today,” Jemma commented. “They’re actually very much like human babies in the type of care that they need. It’s quite fascinating, really.”

Grant was glad to see that Jemma was more or less on board with the idea of caring for the baby animal. “Did you figure out what vaccines she needs?”

Jemma and Fitz both nodded at once.

“It appears she’s already had certain injections,” Jemma told them. “I’ve contacted the National Zoo at the Smithsonian in order to talk to their experts. And we’re discussing sanctuary options for later because it would be in the best interest of Nakoma for her to be in a more natural environment when she’s older.”

Fitz’s hand cupped the baby almost defensively in response to that last statement.

 _Yeah, good luck with that_ , he thought in amusement. He didn’t think Fitz would easily relinquish his new pet.

“Nakoma?” Skye asked, her brow furrowed. “Isn’t that a Disney character?”

Jemma nodded. “I believe so, but that’s not why Fitz chose it. Go on, then. Tell him.”

Fitz looked shy all of a sudden, but he walked over to Grant. “Do you know what you name means?”

Grant resisted the urge to back up as he shot Fitz a wary look. “What?”

“You name,” Fitz repeated. “Names have meaning. Most people don’t know that. Your name is really interesting. Grant means ‘great’ and Ward? That’s protector.”

“Whoa, whoa, wait a minute,” Skye suddenly interrupted. “Grant Ward literally means great protector? Seriously? Wait, wait – what about Douglas? That’s his middle name.”

“Oh, I know that one,” Jemma said eagerly. “That one means ‘dark.’ That’s very interesting given you’re a specialist.”

Skye was laughing now. “You’re the great dark protector. Like Batman.”

Grant sighed, knowing that she was probably not going to let that go. Ever. “No, I didn’t know that. To me, a name’s a name. I go by a lot of them on the job.”

“Well, names are important,” Fitz insisted. “And I wanted to honor you for rescuing Nakoma. Just look at her – I think she remembers you. She obviously likes you. Do you want to hold her?”

“No.” Definitely not.

The baby was definitely showing interest in him, leaning away from Fitz’s chest in order to get a better look at him. Grant made sure he stayed out of grasping distance since the last thing he wanted was for her to latch on again.

“So what does Nakoma mean then?” Skye asked.

“It means ‘great warrior’ or ‘great spirit’ – I thought both were fitting,” Fitz replied. “Grant Ward was her great protector, and it gave her a chance.”

Grant tried not to cringe. There was little chance that Trip wouldn’t hear about the monkey being named after him, so to speak. He’d probably tell Natasha. Since she was already calling him the monkey whisperer, he’d rather be lured into one of Ricky’s honeytrap missions than hear what she had to say about the name.

Skye was busy digging around in one of the bags. She straightened up and waved the stuffed bear triumphantly. “Uncle Grant bought her a teddy bear.”

He glared at Skye. Maybe he didn’t miss her as much as he thought.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Jemma said, taking the bear from Skye and walking over to wave it in front of Nakoma. “Look, she likes it.”

Nakoma probably just remembered the bear she had before, but he couldn’t tell them that without admitting the monkey had been a pet rather than an experiment. He ran his hand over his jaw and glanced at his watch. “I have a meeting.”

Skye looked like she was trying not to laugh at him again. “See you later.”

He raised his brows, a silent reminder that she was supposed to let him know when she was ready for the tests, and she nodded in answer.

***

The debrief took a couple of hours. They discussed the information they’d gathered, what research needed to happen next, and who might be behind the funding of the new lab besides the drug lord.

“Ramon Castillo is powerful in his world, but he’s no weapons developer,” Natasha said. “If he wanted an artifact for his private collection, I could buy that. But he’s running a top lab for something other than his drugs, and that means he’s in bed with someone else on this project.”

Victoria Hand nodded. “Agreed.” Looking over at Greg, she added, “We need to know who his contacts are. You were looking into him before the mission. Were there any names that raised an alert?”

“No,” Greg answered. “I’m still not sure where he got the artifact.”

Grant felt some of his frustration over Skye’s lack of involvement returning. “Skye would be able to help with this.” She’d be able to do more than help – she could probably do it entirely on her own. Greg had been tracking Castillo for three weeks, and Grant felt certain the team would be further along in the investigation if she had been allowed to assist Greg. Or hell, just run it herself.

Hand turned her head to look at him, her gaze calculating behind her glasses. Everything about her was cool, professional, and lacking in sentiment. It was what made her a good agent. They understood each other on that level, and it was out of professional respect that she noted his statement and considered it.

“My objections to Skye’s involvement are on record, though I won’t deny she’s been an asset on many of your flash missions.” Turning to Greg, she asked, “Do you feel that she would be a valuable contributor to this project?”

“She knows the dark web better than me,” Greg admitted reluctantly. “This is where her past involvement with the Rising Tide gives her an edge.”

She had more of an edge than that, and Greg probably knew it. Grant suspected the analyst had begun to resent the comparisons to Skye.

“And her past involvement with the Rising Tide is the reason she doesn’t yet have a higher security clearance,” Hand noted. “If you need to pick her brain about the dark web and the best way to run a search, I won’t object. However, my original decision stands.”

The meeting finally concluded, and Grant gathered his papers. He looked up when Greg approached. “I wanted to say that I’m sorry about the lab. It’s my fault you got stuck because I should have realized they might have a second pin for reset purposes. They’re not commonly used for that particular system setup, but they obviously upgraded it.”

Grant respected the fact that Greg owned his mistakes. “You couldn’t have predicted the power surge.”

“Not at that moment, no, but electrical problems are common in that area. It should have been part of my risk assessment analysis,” the younger man said. “At least the power surges worked in your favor in the end. I thought about trying to go into the electrical system when my algorithm failed, but I didn’t really have time.”

Grant was careful not to react to that new piece of information. “Treat it like a learning experience.”

Greg nodded and walked out of the conference room, leaving Grant alone with his thoughts. The power surges had been timed much too well for them to be attributed to a fluke of the system. So if Greg wasn’t the one behind them, someone else was. He had his suspicions because he only knew one person who both cared enough to check in on his mission and had the requisite skill set to mess with the system under Greg’s nose without detection.

Skye knew better than to do something like that. If she got caught interfering in a mission for which she wasn’t cleared, she’d either be demoted down to simple grunt work or locked up until a review board decided on consequences. Since it was primarily Hand’s mission, he didn’t have to guess which one was most likely, and he was angry that Skye had put herself at risk.

Grant spent the rest of the afternoon getting through his reports, but by early evening he was finished. He still hadn’t heard from Skye, so he changed and spent an hour in the gym before showering and checking his messages to see that she was waiting for him at her desk.

Downstairs it was quiet, though a number of analysts were still working. Skye looked up as he approached, and he felt some of his anger fading when he saw how nervous she looked. He was going to have to talk to her about interfering in missions, but now wasn’t the time.

In the lab, Jemma was careful to lock the door and make sure all of the cameras were turned off before beginning her experiments. Grant stood close to Skye and watched as Jemma drew blood. She carefully labeled the sample.

“Well, then. Are you ready?” Jemma asked. When Skye nodded at her, she turned to the table and opened up the metal case containing the artifact.

Skye immediately tensed up and Grant placed a reassuring hand on her back. No one spoke as Fitz helped Jemma position the Obelisk on the table using robotic arms. When they finished, Skye allowed Jemma to place the nodes on her chest and head that would allow them to monitor her brain activity and heart rate.

Her heart rate was faster than normal, which was to be expected since she was nervous. It spiked again when she touched the Obelisk, and Grant fought the urge to pull her back when it lit up. Skye kept her hands on either side for a moment as she stared at the symbols. Then she began to run her fingers over them, turning the artifact to examine it from different angles.

“Do you have any new observations?” Jemma asked gently.

Skye shook her head slowly but kept her eyes on the artifact. “It’s always the same. I can feel this energy, like it’s pulling me some place. It’s foreign but at the same time it’s familiar. I feel like…”

When she didn’t continue, Grant asked, “You feel like what?”

“Like I should know where I’m supposed to go,” Skye finally answered. “But I don’t.”

“You think it wants you to go somewhere?”

“I don’t know. Maybe? It feels like it’s trying to tell me something… something that I know. It’s like when you have a dream and you wake up, and you have these vague impressions but you can’t remember exactly what happened.”

Grant didn’t like the sound of any of that. He’d seen too much weird shit in the field not to be wary of an artifact that had this kind of effect on someone. He looked over at Jemma. “Are you sure that repeated exposure to this thing is a good idea?”

“I had the same concern before we started,” Jemma said. “But there have been no physiological or psychological changes. Her blood samples are fine. Her brain scans do show increased activity in both the frontal lobe, especially in the area of the pre-frontal cortex which is concerned with memory, and the parietal lobe, which is responsible for integrating sensory information in order to determine spatial sense and navigation. Still, there is nothing to indicate she’s in any danger.”

Grant rubbed his hand over his jaw as he considered that. “Memory and navigation. Is it possible that the symbols are supposed to be some kind of map?”

Skye looked startled by the possibility. “I never thought about that, but maybe.”

“But it’s alien,” Fitz pointed out. “That would mean the map is alien too. Why would Skye remember alien map symbols? Unless… do you think you could have been abducted by aliens?”

Skye rolled her eyes. “I think I would remember that, Fitz.”

“It’s worth looking into though,” Fitz insisted. “We’ve scanned the symbols into the computer. I can start matching them with mapped star systems – the known ones, anyway.” He and Jemma shared a disgruntled look that made Skye laugh.

Looking over at Grant, she said, “They both have a bone to pick with the Asgardians because they’re not sharing their knowledge of the universe with us.”

The lighter moment broke the tension. After the artifact was back in the case and locked in the vault, Skye pulled on her jacket. Nakoma was asleep in a large pet carrier lined with blankets when they started, and Grant noticed that the bear had been in the carrier with her. Now she was awake, and Fitz was feeding her a bottle.

“She really likes the bear,” Fitz told him. “She slept on top of it.”

The last thing he wanted to talk about was that bear, so he just nodded.

Skye was still on edge as they left the lab. “Are you alright?”

She wrapped her scarf around her neck as she stepped through the door he held open. “I always feel weird afterwards – like, hyper aware of everything. It’ll go away in a couple of hours.”

“Why don’t I buy you a drink,” he offered. “A.J.’s?”

It was getting cooler now, and he felt her shivering behind him as they rode his bike the short distance to the bar. Once inside, Skye settled at a small table situated in the corner. It was ideal for private discussions since it was not near other tables or booths. A.J. had designed the place to include several tables like that. Considering the clientele, it was smart.

Grant saw Natasha, Ali, Ricky and Trip seated at a larger table on the other side of the bar. He caught Natasha’s eye as he waited for the drink order, and he saw her glance over at Skye.

A.J. returned from the back with a tray and slid it across to Grant. In addition to their drinks, it included two bowls of chili and an order of fries. “On the house. Skye upgraded my systems again and still refuses to let me pay her for it. Besides, she’s got that look, like it’s been a hell of a day.”

“She’s having a rough week,” Grant confirmed. “Thanks.”

Skye’s expression brightened when she saw the chili and fries. Judging by the way she tucked into it, he figured she’d skipped dinner. He waited until she finished off her chili before broaching the topic of the mission.

“I need to talk to you about something,” he said carefully. He wasn’t as angry as he’d been earlier, and the last thing he wanted to do was upset her, but he needed her to understand what she did was dangerous. “I’m going to ask you a question, and I want you to be completely honest with me.”

Her brows drew together as she registered the serious tone of his voice. “I’m always honest with you.”

“I hit a snag on my mission – got locked in a lab. I thought Greg manipulated the electrical system to get me out. Then after the debrief he apologized to me. He was under the impression that the malfunction was a fluke, but it couldn’t have been. The surges were timed too perfectly. Did you hack into the system to get me out?”

Skye sighed and propped her chin on her hand as she studied his expression. “Yes. On a scale of one to ten, how mad are you?”

He crossed his arms and raised a brow. “Earlier? A ten. But I’m not mad anymore.”

She folded her arms on the table in front of her. “No? Sweet, because I don’t think I could handle you being angry with me right now on top of everything else.”

“I’m concerned, Skye. Agent Hand would lock you up and request a formal review if she even suspected you did something like that. It can’t happen again. Period.”

“But you were going to be caught,” she protested. “And I saw who you were dealing with. They don’t play. You could have been killed.”

“They would have tortured me first to find out who I work for, and that would have given the team time to double back for me,” he countered.

Skye snorted. “Oh because torture sounds so much better. Come on, aren’t you glad I saved your pretty face?” She smiled as she reached out and rubbed her hand along his cheek.

He shook his head. “How did you even know what was wrong?”

“I was in AC’s office when he got the call,” she replied. “He didn’t say much, but I felt like he was hiding something from me. Then when I saw Greg running upstairs like his ass was on fire, I just had a bad feeling.”

She was way too smart for her own good. It was one of the reasons he loved working with her, but it had its drawbacks. “It can’t happen again.” When she opened her mouth, he shook his head and added, “I’m serious, Skye. You have to trust that my team and I know what we’re doing. We plan for contingencies like capture. I’ve been tortured before, and I can handle it.”

“So if the situation was reversed, you’d just leave me behind to be tortured and come back for me later?” She shook her head in disbelief. “Because I highly doubt it.”

She was right of course. Grant was starting to realize that Skye was a dangerous exception to every hard rule he’d ever lived by. He didn’t feel at all guilty about leaving intel out of debriefs if it meant protecting her. He’d probably break every rule in the damn handbook if she was in trouble, and that was part of the problem now. “It’s not the same thing and you know it. You’re not field trained. I need you to promise me that you won’t do it again.”

Skye bit her lip and then reached out across the table. He hesitated. Then he met her halfway, and she squeezed his hand and smiled at him, her dark eyes focused intently on his face.

“The thing is, we’re friends now,” she finally said. “You and me? We’re a lot alike in some ways. We don’t fully trust many people and when we do, it’s important. You’re important to me. So what I’m saying is I can’t promise that I would never do something like that again. I _can_ promise that I’ll use discretion – I’ll only do it if I think the situation is life threatening. That’s the best I can do.”

“And if you get caught?” he asked quietly.

“First, that’s kind of insulting because I know my way around the SHIELD servers. I wrote half the firewalls in place,” she pointed out. “If they catch me, I deserve to go in front of a review board. And let’s not pretend that you wouldn’t be in front of the same review board for fudging facts on mission debriefs to protect me.”

Grant had no response for that because she was right.

Skye opted to take the bus home after dinner, stating that it was getting too cold for his bike. He walked her out to the bus stop, and he felt his mood lift again when she held out her arms and took a deep breath. With her face turned up to the stars, and the moonlight illuminating the shifting shadows, it took him back to that first night he’d stood here with her.

When she saw the bus approaching, Skye turned and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Thanks for staying with me earlier. It helped.”

He hugged her close for a minute before releasing her. She looked up at him and they both stilled as their eyes met. He knew he should step back, put some distance between them. Instead he raised his hands and cupped her head, stroking his fingers lightly through her hair. The air felt thicker now, and her eyes were full of questions he didn’t have answers for.

Ever so slowly, she raised her hands to his shoulders, stood on her toes and pressed her lips against his cheek. It was innocent yet painfully intimate, and his heart clenched in response.

Skye took a shaky breath and backed away. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Grant stood there for several minutes after the bus pulled away. He couldn’t kid himself about the slippery slope he was on anymore. He was emotionally compromised when it came to Skye, and that made working with her dangerous. Field missions, in particular, would be a problem if he couldn’t find a way to rein this in.

He could attempt to compartmentalize it, but he didn’t think it would work the way it had after they’d slept together. Back then it had been simpler – more than sex, yes, but still far less than this. Somehow, his relationship with Skye had become the most important relationship he’d ever had, with anyone.

The obvious solution was to put some distance between them. He didn’t want to stop spending time with her, and he didn’t want to stop working with her. If he could find some middle ground, it might work, but the most important thing was to find a way to move on from their night together once and for all.

***

Skye drummed her fingers nervously against the table as she sat in the corner at A.J.’s. It had been two days since she’d sat there with Grant – two days since she realized she was in love with him and had no idea what do about it.

The fact that it hit her so suddenly at the bus stop, cool air and moonlight reminding her so much of that first night, had to be the biggest cliché ever. They’d been standing in nearly the same spot where she’d first kissed him, too, and the knowledge was just _there_. A simple, inalienable truth.

She’d been so distracted at her training session with May on Wednesday morning that the older woman stopped and had her run off her nerves on the treadmill instead. Skye hadn’t seen much of Grant that day since she’d been busy with the Stark project and he was still on Hand’s mission.

She’d picked up coffee for both of them on Thursday morning only to find him in the gym sparring with Ali. They were friends, and even if it was more, she had no right to be upset about it. And yet the jealousy hit her as suddenly as her realization about her feelings, and she left without letting him know she was there.

Now it was Thursday night, and she’d finally arranged to meet Patrick. She wasn’t looking forward to their conversation at all because she knew what she had to tell him, and she knew it would hurt him.

A.J. seemed to sense something was wrong because he brought over a couple of her favorite craft beers after Patrick arrived. Skye studied Patrick as he sat down. He’d obviously been home to change first since he’d traded his office attire for dark wash jeans, a blue t-shirt and black vest combo, and his favorite Band of Outsiders jacket. He looked as handsome as always, and she wondered why she couldn’t feel for him what she felt for Grant. It would be so much simpler and would probably involve a lot less heartache.

Patrick smiled at her as he opened one of the beers and passed it to her, but it was reserved and a little sad. It made her feel even worse. They sat in silence for a few minutes, lost in their own thoughts.

He spoke up first. “So I have a gig in about an hour. I hope you’ll still come out and support us. Maybe not tonight, you know, but I hope we can be friends.”

Skye swallowed hard against the lump in her throat. “I want that too. And I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” he told her gently. “I want more and you can’t give away what you’ve already given to someone else. I think I’ve known it for a while – definitely since the night of your field mission.”

“The thing is, I met Grant last year. Here, actually,” Skye explained. “It was a couple of days after I broke up with Mike, and we spent the night together. I probably should have told you, but I really thought it was not that big a deal. It was one night, and it was six months before I ever saw him again. Now I feel terrible because I feel like you and I should have had this talk months ago.”

“In a weird way, that actually makes me feel a little better,” Patrick said. He raised his beer bottle and bumped it against hers. “We had some good times, right? And I mean it about being friends, Skye. It might sting a little seeing you with him but…”

“It’s not like that,” Skye broke in, shaking her head. “I’m making this decision for you and me because I realized my feelings for him mean I’m not being fair to you. He has no idea about any of this.”

“Well, you should talk to him,” Patrick commented. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Skye.”

They finished their beers and a few minutes later, Patrick left. It had been relatively smooth as far as breakups go, and she hoped Patrick would be able to move on quickly because he deserved that.

Skye looked around the room and saw that the tables had filled up. When she first arrived, the room was fairly quiet and she hadn’t even noticed the increased volume as more people arrived. She could see Natasha, Ricky and Trip at a table facing one of the flat screen TVs mounted on the wall.

Then she saw Grant sitting a few tables away from them with Ali, and her heart sank into the pit of her stomach. She didn’t think she was imagining that they were suddenly spending more time together. She definitely wasn’t imagining that there was a history there since Trip had let that slip a few weeks before.

She played with her beer bottle and watched the people at the bar, though she wasn’t really seeing them. Anderson cut through her line of vision once, pausing to give her the kind of once-over that made her skin crawl. He didn’t dare approach her anymore, which she was grateful for. She imagined that he was well aware that Grant was in the room, and he knew she was friendly with the other specialists as well.

She was caught off guard when she looked up again to see Natasha standing before her with two small glasses in her hands. She nodded to the empty chair. “Mind if I sit?”

Skye shook her head, eyeing the small glass of clear liquid that Natasha pushed over to her. “What’s that?”

“The kind of alcohol that takes your mind off your problems,” Natasha replied, raising a brow in challenge. “You game?”

What the hell. Skye picked up the glass and downed the liquid. She immediately broke out into a coughing fit as she tried to breathe through the fire in her chest. “Holy shit, what the hell was that?”

Natasha grinned and said, “Ouzo. You might want to slow down there, rookie.” She tossed her own glass back and signaled A.J. for another round.

He shook his head as he brought over two more glasses. “You two look like trouble waiting to happen.”

“Nah, I got this,” Natasha said easily.

Skye caught the look they exchanged and then A.J. nodded and walked back to the bar. “I’m fine, you know.”

“Never said you weren’t.” Natasha picked up her glass and took a sip. “Heard you’ve been training with May. How’s that going?”

“Okay. I’m not even sure I want to be field trained, but after what happened last time? I just want to even the playing field a little. I want to know I can handle myself.” Skye took a sip of the ouzo, this time noticing the subtle flavors mixed with the alcohol.

She looked over at Grant and Ali to see that Grant was watching her with Natasha. He smiled at her and she tried to smile back, but it was forced. She looked away before he saw something in her expression she wasn’t ready for him to know.

When they finished their glasses of ouzo, Skye felt loose-limbed and light as air. The room tilted a little when she stood up, and Natasha laughed. “Easy there. Let’s get you home before you crash.”

Despite Skye insisting it wasn’t necessary, Natasha rode the bus with her and made sure she got safely inside her apartment. “Thursdays aren’t a good night for this kind of thing, but we should do it again on a weekend.”

Skye wondered if there was anyone Natasha couldn’t drink under the table. She didn’t appear to be feeling the effects of the ouzo at all, which made her think that a weekend drinking with her might end in blood alcohol poisoning. Then again it might be worth it to say she and the Black Widow were drinking buddies.

She took Natasha’s advice and drank a lot of water before she fell into bed and slept better than she had in weeks. She had a headache when she woke up, but a round with May banished her slight hangover. Skye showered and dressed when they were finished, and she took her breakfast to the park.

It was a beautiful morning – sunny and bright, though the air was still chilly. The ducks waddled over for their breakfast, and Skye fed them as she watched the joggers on the trail that circled the pond.

“I thought I might find you here.”

Skye looked over her shoulder to see Alanna standing behind her. There was an air of uncertainty in her posture, as if she didn’t quite know what reaction to expect. She didn’t say anything, but she shifted over on the bench in a silent invitation.  

She waited for her aunt to sit before speaking. “I thought you were leaving today.”

“I am,” Alanna confirmed. “I have a flight out of Dulles at five. But I’ll be back in a couple of weeks. I’m taking a leave of absence for the rest of the year, and my husband will come up for weekends when he can.”

Skye told herself not to ask, but the question came out anyway. “Why?”

“For you,” Alanna stated simply. “Because you’ve gone long enough without knowing your family, Skye. I know we can’t fix this overnight. There’s no such thing as an insta-family. It will take work from all of us. I just want to get to know you, and I want you to get to know us.”

“Us.” Skye clenched her hands around the scarf in her lap. “In case you missed the family memo, your brother doesn’t want to have anything to do with me.”

 “Funny thing – he said you didn’t want to have anything to do with him, either.”

“He’s not the ink blot on the pristine family name though, so…” her voice trailed off, and she tried to choke back the bitter feelings threatening to rise up again.

Alanna turned on the bench to face Skye. “See, I told him that’s probably what you think, and it’s not true. Whatever else I think about my brother’s decision, and believe me when I say he and I had words about this, he didn’t leave you at St. Agnes because he was ashamed of you. He did it because he was scared.”

“Scared of what though?” Skye asked, frustrated when she felt tears gathering. She blinked them back furiously.

“Because your mother was murdered. He didn’t tell me much but the scene he described was horrific. All I really know is that he had reason to believe that the people who killed her were looking for you, so he took you from your mother’s village and gave you to a friend who was able to get you out of China. No one knew he and your mother were involved and he knew questions would be asked if he suddenly showed up here with a baby. In his words, he made a hard call. I just don’t believe he ever considered the long term ramifications.”

Skye kept her eyes on the water. “Did he tell you anything about her?”

“Her name was Jiaying,” Alanna offered. “That’s all I know.”

Jiaying. Her mother’s name was Jiaying. She couldn’t control the tears anymore, and they began slipping silently down her cheeks as her vision blurred. When Alanna put an arm around her, she let go of the tension and leaned into her.

They sat silently together. Eventually Skye wiped her cheeks and took a deep breath. “I have to go to work.” She was already late, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

“He looked for you, you know,” Alanna said suddenly. “After you ran away, he took a six month leave of absence. At the time I didn’t know why he was upset. I thought it was one of those things – sometimes specialists have a hard time with missions and need a break.”

Skye tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear as she thought about that. “I erased all my records and started going by Skye. I stayed in Austin for a couple of months but after that I left Texas for a while.”

“He didn’t say, but I think he thought you were dead,” Alanna told her.

“Yeah, well he didn’t exactly look overjoyed to see me five years ago,” Skye said.

“I’m not excusing him,” Alanna said carefully, “but you have to understand that specialists are a different breed of agent. They’re highly skilled and highly trained, and part of that training involves the ability to compartmentalize absolutely everything that interferes with clear thinking. They’re trained to sacrifice sentiment for intellect and reason. At some point, I think Clay decided to approach keeping you safe as a mission, and he compartmentalized everything else that would interfere with his mission objective. I know my brother, and family is important to him, so that’s the only explanation that makes sense to me. I just don’t believe that he would ever have done this if he didn’t truly think it was your best chance for survival.”

Skye wished she could believe that, but part of her still thought he just didn’t care enough to try in the five years since she’d found him.

Alanna reached into her bag and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. She passed it to Skye and said, “Those are all of my contact numbers. Henna wrote hers as well. You should know that I had a hard time making her promise that she wouldn’t come looking for you. I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed, but I think she would really like it if you called her.”

Skye took the paper and nodded.

“I’ll be back here in about two weeks,” she continued. “I’ve rented a townhouse on Wyoming Avenue for the next few months.”

Skye raised a brow as she looked at Alanna. “Swanky neighborhood.” And expensive – sometimes she forgot how wealthy the Quartermain family was because they didn’t flaunt their trust funds. Most of the townhouses in that area rented for no less than ten thousand a month and the bigger ones were significantly more than that.

“It has the space I wanted. Five bedrooms, a family room, a dining room big enough for holiday dinners.” Alanna paused, and then added, “I hoped you might spend a weekend there with me sometime.”

Skye looked down at the scarf she was still twisting between her fingers. “I’ll think about it.” She tried to squash down the hope welling up inside her. She was afraid to admit, even to herself, how much she wanted a relationship with her aunt because it felt eerily like the Brody family all over again, and the second she hoped for more, it would all disappear.

“That’s all I’m asking for right now.”

Skye heard the disappointment in her voice. She stood up and wound her scarf around her neck and then turned to face her aunt.

Alanna smiled at her. In an almost motherly gesture, she reached out and adjusted Skye’s scarf before brushing her hair back. “There. You look beautiful.”

Skye smiled at that because she knew her eyes were probably red and puffy. She would have to fix her makeup before going to the office.

“See you in two weeks?” Alanna asked. When Skye nodded, she stepped forward and pulled her into a fierce hug. “Take all the time you need to think about things. I’m not going anywhere.”

Skye gave in to the temptation and hugged her back. “Thank you.”

They walked together to the park exit and parted ways. Skye slowed down as she made her way to the Triskelion, not really in a hurry even though she had a lot of work and was already more than an hour late. But she’d worked late a lot this week, and no one had called yet to see where she was, so she made the most of it.

She stopped at her favorite café and fixed her makeup in the bathroom. She also bought a little box of pastries to share with her neighboring co-workers and the largest, strongest coffee they had. She thought about buying sandwiches to have for lunch at her desk before dismissing the idea in favor of dragging Jemma to the food trucks for a little girl talk.

Despite the lingering uncertainty she felt about her feelings for Grant and whether or not they were reciprocated, she felt much better than she had in weeks. She and Patrick had resolved to work towards friendship in the wake of their breakup, and she had a potential new drinking buddy in Natasha. Best of all, she had a little piece of paper with a list of numbers that proved her family was interested in getting to know her.

**A/N: Sorry this took so long but as you can see, this chapter was massive. It’s over 10,000 words and really should have been two chapters, but I decided to just keep working on it so that I could post it all together. It had a lot of character development and emotional conversations, so it was a tricky little beast. Also, I remember that the show named Grant's brothers, but I can't find any reference to his sister's name - only that one throwaway line that he had a sister. So, I just gave her the name Elizabeth because it's the kind of name that would be used in a conservative political family. Hope you enjoyed the update!**

**Up Next: Part 5 – Love is a fragile little flame (it can burn out)**

**Summary: Skye and Grant dance around the topic of their feelings for one another as Grant tries to pull back and Skye wonders if she’s prepared to risk her heart by confronting the situation head-on. Meanwhile, she’s spending more time with Alanna and her cousins as the holidays approach, and Skye’s birth family and SHIELD family come together for an awkward Thanksgiving. When she receives a bump in her security clearance, it leads to a dangerous mission that raises the emotional stakes for everyone who cares about her.**


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